“Initially, the first-time mother scenario is every woman’s dream. Who can resist watching your child take her first steps, or the way he says “eyeskeem” when they hear the ice-cream truck drive by?

A friend of mine recently found out that motherhood is a lot less glamorous than it seems, particularly for working mothers. Unfortunately, women’s multitasking ability is not as easy as it seems, as she told me of her daily juggle to put money and dinner on the table at the same time.

Constant pressures from her boss to “just finish off the accounts” at 6pm, meant dinner was barely ever ready by 7pm. To top this off, the latest research shows that new mothers have recently gone back to surviving on three-and-a-half hours of sleep a night.

Sufficed to say, this all boils down to an issue of confidence.

Your boss must understand that you need some kind of work/life balance in place. It is important to stand up to your boss and explain that what you can’t do today, you will be more than willing to do later in the week. Avoid just saying “no”, be flexible by offering a mutual option.

With a touch of grace, and a sprinkle of confidence, life just might become a little bit easier. My company, Secret Success, holds regular workshops offering tips on confidence and we come across all sorts of similar issues.

In this situation, we would encourage stepping into your boss’ shoes – this will help you to see it from his or her point of view.

If you have a meeting, it is a good idea to know what you want to say beforehand, so make a list of valid reasons for not doing overtime. Visualise yourself as being confident and calm, maybe think of someone who is and think and how they would handle the same situation, to help you find potential responses to possible challenges you might face.

By imagining the best possible outcome, you will feel more confident to make the necessary assertions. Above all else, remember that your job is helping you to support your family, so building a good rapport with your boss is essential. It is also important to complement the company and express how much you love your job and working for your boss; this will create a good relationship that will sway your boss to give you more flexibility. Your boss will ultimately respect you for your honesty.

Fortunately, with this new bout of confidence, my friend is able to enjoy a healthy balance of work and family time!