Finalising a divorce can be stressful for a number of reasons. Not only may there be a lot of emotional issues to deal before you can begin the healing process, there are also several legal and financial matters that need your attention.
Add to that the everyday responsibilities of work and motherhood, and you may feel completely overwhelmed. Use this article as a guide to help you through the stress of juggling work, finances, and your divorce.
Keeping Work and Divorce Separate
Divorce is a mentally and emotionally consuming process; as such, you may feel anxious, unfocused, or fatigued throughout your work day. To eliminate distraction and stress while you’re at work, try to dedicate some time each dayâ€”even if it’s only thirty minutes or an hourâ€”to handle the matters of your divorce. This can be done either before or after your regular work day, but not during it. Try not to respond to any emails or phone calls relating to the divorce while you’re on the job, either.
During this difficult time, you’ll need emotional support from someone who is empathetic to your situation and can give you good advice. However, in the interest of keeping work and divorce separate, this person should not be a co-worker. Bringing your personal issues into the office will only add to your distraction and make you the centre of workplace gossip. If for some reason you feel you can’t reach out to close family and friends, join an online women’s support network instead.
Managing Your Finances at Home
Trying to sort out your financial matters in the midst of a divorce is taxing. In order to get your personal finances back on track, make a list of your income and assets as well as your essential expensesâ€”rent/mortgage payments, groceries, utility bills, transportation, and if you have kids, any miscellaneous items they may need. This will not only give you a realistic idea of where you need to cut back, it may also prove useful when settling the financial matters of your divorce, including any maintenance you may be eligible to receive from your ex. If you encounter trouble managing or settling your finances post-divorce, seek financial or divorce help from an experienced counsellor or legal professional.
Asking for Help
You should know you’re not alone. Many women who are going through divorce have trouble juggling work, finances, and divorce matters. While you may look like you have everything under control, the feelings of stress, anxiety, and fatigue have probably become staples in your everyday life.
The first step to taking some of the burden off your shoulders is admitting that you need help. Reach out to family and friends to help you with some of your responsibilities in your personal lifeâ€”such as watching the children or helping you get the house organisedâ€”so that you can focus on earning a stable income for your household. They understand that this is a mentally and emotionally taxing time for you; in fact, they’ve probably been waiting for the right opportunity to offer their assistance to you.
If you haven’t already engaged the expertise of a legal professional, you should. Dealing with your divorce by yourself may seem attractive for the financial savings it promises, but legal troubles will only add to your feelings of anxiety and fatigue. Getting help will reduce your stress levels and ensure that the legal and financial matters of your separation are resolved in a timely manner.