The birth of a new baby is supposed to be one of the most joyous events in a woman?s life. However, one in 10 new mums it can be a time of complete misery. However, for such a prevalent and treatable condition many women find seeking help extremely difficult says Smantha Cracknell.
Successful PA Marianne Anderton suffered postnatal depression after the birth of her fifth child. Her storyhighlights how anyone can be susceptible, not just first-time mothers – Marianne did not suffer PND with her previous four children.
?I felt embarrassed to ask for help,? says Marriane. ?I thought I should know?I didn?t want to be judged as a mother.? Marianne’s fear of being judged is common in PND.
Sufferers often wrongly believe that ‘confessing’ their feelings to medical experts means they will be judged as unfit mothers and have their children taken away from them. This fear delays women from seeking the advice and support that would help them overcome the condition as soon as possible.
What is postnatal depression? It’s not baby blues…?
Feeling ‘down’ and teary for a few days immediately after giving birth is a common syndrome described as ‘baby blues’ ? this is not the same as PND. So common infact that health professionals class the it as normal. Baby blues is thought to be caused by a variety of reasons including:
- changes in the mothers hormone levels
- the trauma of birth and the hospital stay
- feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of being a mother
- difficulty dealing with changes in relationships post-baby and the pre-existing family dynamic
Postnatal depression is an anxiety disorder that can be a much longer-term condition. However, as with the baby blues, there is no simple, single cause or reason why some mothers develop it.
As the birth of any new child brings different stresses and strains to the existing family dynamic, many couples may struggle to accommodate the changes. This can be why mothers may find they suffer PND with their second or third child, or, like Marianne, even their fifth.
Mums are also more susceptible to the condition if they have other stresses in their lives, such as money worries, relationship problems, or a family member’s illness or bereavement.
PND usually develops when the baby is between four and six months old, though it can strike any time within the first year, and can come about instantly or develop gradually over a period of time. Both Marianne and first-time mum Gayle Hawkins developed PND almost immediately after giving birth, and for both mums the initial baby blues? low mood intensified rather than dispersed.
Although there are some differences between other depressive illnesses and PND, the symptoms and treatments of all depression are very similar.
Restaurant manager Gayle was delighted when she fell pregnant as she had struggled to conceive, however, once the baby was born Gayle candidly recounts her feelings of abnormality in her lack of enjoyment in her baby “Everyone told me what a beautiful baby he was and how lucky I was. But hearing that…I just wanted to cry and wondered what was wrong with me.?
“I didn?t love the baby, I felt as if he belonged to someone else and I wanted to give him back. I always wanted to leave him with someone else.”
Marianne worried constantly about her baby’s health; her childs crying panicked her. Marianne thought she should be able to cope and it frightened her that she couldn’t. Similarly to Gayle, Marianne felt alienated from her baby- particularly as her baby would not breastfeed. This made her feel the baby “didn’t like me” and intensified her fear that she was not in control and not caring for her baby properly.
The Turning Point
Firstly, it is vital to remember that there is a turning point when suffering PND and you will recover from it. Liz Wise, a specialist postnatal depression counsellor and trainer, has developed training courses on PND for health visitors and many voluntary organisations. She says that the turning point for every individual is different, but that “what’s most important is to get back a sense of identity”.
For some, this comes with returning to work, when breastfeeding stops (as mums can allow others to take over more of the care). For some sufferers simply talking to a health professional and having the condition acknowledged can relieve a lot of the stress and strain.
Either the health visitor or GP should be the first port of call for a depressed new mother. By talking about your symptoms to a medical expert, you are going to get the help that you need. This help may just be in the form of reassurance and advice ? perhaps to be put in contact with PND support groups or other mothers who are feeling the same way.
Sometimes the appropriate treatment is antidepressants. Gayle was reluctant to take anti-depressants ? she worried she would become dependent on them and, as she was breastfeeding she was concerned about their effect on her baby. It is true that some anti-depressants can be dangerous to take while breastfeeding, but your GP will make sure your medication is safe.
Finding the root cause of the problem
For Gayle, having her feelings recognised as a medical condition reassured her that she was not letting herself, her baby or her partner down. She believes the antidepressants allowed her to recover as quickly as possible, and gradually she was able to return to work part time.
This was crucial to Gayle?s recovery, she believes now that her previous feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability were partly due to being financially dependent on someone else ? her partner ? for the first time in her adult life. Returning to work helped her rediscover her identity.
Liz offers invaluable advice: “Don’t play Superwoman, if your baby is sleeping, take advantage of this time and rest yourself ? don’t worry about doing all the household chores. Take up offers of help.”
Marianne describes how she had lots of support from her Health Visitor, “She was just a very reassuring presence, she complimented me on my baby?s regular weight gain ? it made me feel like I was doing something right.” The turning point for Marianne came when her baby was 10 months old. “I finally started to bond. At this time I had also separated from my husband, which actually relieved a lot of the pressure.? In retrospect Marianne believes that being unhappy in her marriage made her anxious to be ‘perfect’, and that it was only once she had separated from her husband that she felt able to accept offers of help.
Happily, Marianne has now remarried, is a company director – and has gone on to have a sixth child!
Common symptoms of postnatal depression
- Feelings of extreme tiredness and apathy
- Feeling like you haven?t bonded with your baby
- A feeling that you ‘can’t cope’
- Feelings of inadequacy and guilt
- Extremely emotional and teary
- Lack of appetite
- Inability to feel enjoyment or happiness
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling panicky, and in more severe cases panic attacks may occur
- Difficulty sleeping, suffering nightmares
- Complete disinterest in sex
Resources
Association for Postnatal Illness, tel: 020 7386 0868, email info@apni.org, or visit www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com??
CRY-SIS (for parents with babies who cry excessively), tel: 02074045011
Meet-a-Mum Association, postnatal support line 7pm-10pm weekdays only, tel: 0845 120 3746, www.mama.co.uk
NHS direct, www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk? 0845 4647 available 24 hours a day
For further information about PND counselling and training Liz Wise may be contacted on 07745113197 or e mail:lwise@onetel.com