As a working mum, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly falling short. Whether it’s a perfectly curated Instagram feed, a friend’s career promotion, or another mum who seems to have it all together, comparison can creep in and rob you of joy.
But here’s the truth: your journey is unique, your wins—big or small—are worth celebrating, and envy doesn’t need to have a seat at your table.
In this guide, we’ll explore how to silence working mum envy, embrace your achievements, and create a mindset where you can genuinely celebrate your wins.
Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Understanding the Comparison Trap
As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we measure our lives against someone else’s highlight reel, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Instead of focusing on what someone else has achieved, ask yourself:
- What am I proud of today?
- What progress have I made in the past year?
Social Media and Unrealistic Standards
Social media often portrays an airbrushed version of reality. Behind every perfect family photo or six-figure business success is a story of struggle, sacrifice, and setbacks.
As Rachel Hollis writes in Girl, Stop Apologizing, “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” Focus on your own path.
Recognising Your Unique Journey
Defining Success On Your Own Terms
Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all achievement—it’s deeply personal. For some, it’s starting a side hustle; for others, it’s being fully present at bedtime.
Take a moment to define:
- What does success look like for you?
- What milestones are important in your life?
Celebrating Small Milestones
Small wins matter. Did you finish a work project on time? Did your child ace a spelling test? Did you carve out time for yourself?
In Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us, “Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.” Celebrate those small steps—they add up.
Practical Strategies to Silence Mum Envy
Curating Your Social Media Feed
Your social media should inspire, not drain you.
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate.
- Follow people who share honest, relatable experiences.
Practising Gratitude Regularly
Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present.
- Write down three things you’re thankful for each night.
- Share a moment of gratitude with your family over dinner.
Building a Culture of Celebration at Home
Sharing Wins with Your Family
Normalize celebrating wins, both yours and your children’s.
- Share your achievements openly.
- Encourage your family to share their own daily wins.
Teaching Your Children the Value of Celebrating Effort
Children learn by example. Show them that effort matters as much as results.
- Celebrate persistence and hard work.
- Avoid comparing them to others.
Creating Space for Reflection and Growth
Journaling to Track Your Wins
Journaling isn’t just about venting frustrations—it’s also about recognising growth.
- Write down one win at the end of each day.
- Reflect on how far you’ve come over time.
Setting Realistic Expectations
It’s easy to expect too much from yourself. As Glennon Doyle writes in Untamed, “Being a mother is not about slowly dying while raising your kids—it’s about thriving alongside them.”
Encouragement from Leading Voices
Lessons from Brené Brown and Glennon Doyle
Brené Brown reminds us in The Gifts of Imperfection, “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.” Authenticity is your superpower.
Glennon Doyle encourages us in Untamed, “You are not supposed to be someone else. You are supposed to be you.”
Practical Insights from Sheryl Sandberg
In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg says, “Done is better than perfect.” Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
We all want to produce work that we are proud of – and that is of a standard we will be proud to share, but sometimes this need for perfection is a distraction and an obstacle to actually finishing, or releasing work. It can be a trap, so this is where Sandberg’s quote really helps us!
The Takeaway
Comparison might knock at your door, but you don’t have to let it in. Your journey, your wins, and your story are uniquely yours—and they deserve to be celebrated.
Take a moment today to recognise something you’ve achieved. Write it down, share it with someone, or simply smile to yourself.
Because you, mama, are doing an incredible job—and that’s worth celebrating every single day.
