?Lots of Mums get very hung up on toilet training but it really isn?t a race and just like everything else, children will develop at different rates,? advises GP and mum-of-three Dr Dawn Harper.
?Boys are often slower to potty train than girls and while some kids cotton on to the idea within a few days, others will take several months. As a rough guide, most toddlers will be dry by day at three years and by night at four, but one in six kids is still wetting the bed when they start school.?
When you?re a stay-at-home mum, you can work more easily with your child and have all the time with them to see their little hints that they are ready for potty training. But when you work ? even when it?s part-time, you may think they are ready to be trained, but as you are not the sole caregiver, you have to work with whoever looks after your child when you?re working.
So does it mean that you should give the childminder or nursery full control of the potty training? No, according to parenting expert and author of The Good Childcare Guide Hilary Periera. ?A working mum needs to ensure she works closely with all who are responsible for her child’s care so that the approach to potty training is consistent.
?Decide how you are going to start training – for example, by sitting your child on the potty after mealtimes with a book or favourite toy to distract her – and communicate this to her carers. Make sure you give them regular updates as to how she’s doing at home, as well as keeping them informed of any setbacks or possible stumbling blocks. You may, for example, find that an emotional upheaval – even a minor one – will put her training back,? advises Hilary.
?You will also need to share what you are going to say to your child as she makes progress (or in the event that she doesn’t this time around). For example, avoid criticising if she fails to produce anything in her potty; keep things unpressurised and low-key; praise her if she does ‘perform’, but don’t go over the top as she’ll feel the pressure is on to produce something each time in order to please you.?
It?s easier said than done isn?t it? You may be working all the hours God sends during the week, and then spend the weekend rushing around trying to catch up n housework, visiting friends and family and feel that because you don?t have those core hours during the day with your child, you should leave it up to ?the experts?.
But, says Hilary: ?It?s important to stay involved in all areas of your child’s training and development! The professionals may well have a proven track record of getting children used to potties, but your interest, praise and encouragement is all important to your child.?
?She wants to please you more than anyone else, so let her know that you are aware of how well she’s doing with her carers as well as how hard she’s trying at home. If, however, she isn’t making headway, take your foot off the accelerator and ask her carers to do the same. Leave it a couple of months before starting training again: research has shown that a laidback approach to toilet training, going at the pace of the child and starting at a time when they are really ready, results in a less problematic and faster path to being fully trained.?
This is the view shared by Dr Dawn. ?Try not to be too regimented about training ? just because your last child was out of nappies at three doesn?t mean your next one will be. I?m a great believer in taking the lead from them.
?A child that is ready to toilet train will start to show an interest in others going to the toilet and may start to play with the potty. When the time is right, make sure that the potty is always readily to hand and dress your child in easy-to-remove clothes ? you may not be given much warning!?
?Success should always be praised but never chastise an accident, simply clear it up with the minimum fuss and try again later, ? Dr Dawn adds.
?If your child is showing no signs of improving you may have started training too early for him and rather than frustrate everyone, you will be better to put the potty away again for a month or so and start again later.?
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Is your child ready for potty training? Take the Potty Training Readiness Quiz
FURTHER READING
Hilary Periera?s book, The Good Childcare Guide, ?9.99, is published by Prentice Hall Life.
The Potty Training Readiness Quiz
Potty training is easier and happens faster if your child is truly ready in all three areas: physical, cognitive and social. But the big question is: how do you know when your child is ready? If you have never travelled this road before, you likely don’t even know what signs to look for. Take this quiz to find out where your child is on the readiness spectrum.
1. I can tell by watching that my child is wetting or filling his nappy:
a. Never.
b. Sometimes.
c. Usually.
2. My toddler?s nappy needs to be changed:
a. Frequently, every hour or two.
b. It varies.
c. Every two to three hours – sometimes less frequently.
3. My child understands the meaning of wet, dry, clean, wash, sit, and go:
a. No.
b. Some of them.
c. Yes.
4. When my child communicates her needs, she:
a. Says or signs a few basic words and I guess the rest.
b. Gets her essential points across to me.
c. Has a good vocabulary and talks to me in sentences.
5. If I give my child a simple direction, such as, ?put this in the toy box,? she:
a. Doesn?t understand or doesn?t follow directions.
b. Will do it if I coach or help her.
c. Understands me and does it.
6. My child can take his pants off and put them on:
a. No.
b. With help he can.
c. Yes.
7. When I read a book to my child, he:
a. Ignores me.
b. Sometimes listens, sometimes wanders off.
c. Sits, listens and enjoys the story.
8. My toddler wants to do things ?all by myself?:
a. Never.
b. Sometimes.
c. All the time!
9. I think that it?s the right time to begin potty training:
a. No.
b. I?m undecided.
c. Yes.
Total the number of responses for each letter:
a __________
b __________
c __________
Most answers are a: Wait.
Your little one doesn?t seem to be ready just yet. Test again in a month or two.
Most answers are b: Time for pre-potty training – get ready!
Your child is not quite ready for active training, but you can take many steps to prepare your toddler for the future. Gradual introduction of terms and ideas will make potty training easier when the time comes.
Most answers are c: Your toddler is ready to use the potty!
It?s time to start your potty training adventure. Good luck, and have fun!
Are you between two scores?
Just like any parenting situation, there are choices to make. If your child is hovering between two categories, it?s time to put your intuition to good use. Your knowledge of your own child can direct you toward the right plan of action.
Taken from Elizabeth Pantley’s The No-Cry Potty Training Solution