Whether its in your personal life, during school, or at work, there always seems to be one person who is overconfident and takes control (or tries to) in ever situation. They’ll be the one who thinks they know exactly how someone should do every little thing – even when they were not there or have never experienced the situation that person is in.
In the workplace, it’s to be expected that you’ll get some direction from colleagues when you start a new job or project – that person could be your boss, or someone who has a bit more experience than you do.
But there is a line between being coached or mentored and being bossed around. The latter often makes you feel frustrated and resentful…and yet powerless to do or say anything for fear of rocking the boat.
Here are some strategies you can use to manage a bossy colleague at work:
1. Get your facts right
As annoying as your colleague is being, get your facts right before you start getting offended – have they been asked to oversee your work, for example? Have they been reprimanded in the past for not training people properly? Getting some background information will help you decide the best next steps without leaving egg on our face.
2. Earn their trust
The best way to get people off your back is often to show that you can be trusted to do the job and do it well. If you pay attention to detail and don’t always make mistakes because you haven’t taken the care to check or ask for additional help or information then there is a small chance that you will ever get some independence in your working environment.
3. The language you use
So you’ve proven yourself to be a trusted and conscientious colleague, but this work mate still insists on sticking their oar in where it’s not needed. You now have to open the dialogue so that you can make your feelings known…in a professional manner.
Ask to go for a coffee or something, or say that you’d like to have a quick chat when they are free. When you get there, ask them how their work is going, and build up a calm and relaxed atmosphere.
Then, ask them how they think you are doing in your job. If the response is positive, using fact-based dialogue, explain how you feel you confident in your role and that you feel they can leave you to get on with your job. Hank them for all their help, so they don’t feel offended, and hopefully they will get the message.
4. Plan B
So your plan didn’t work, and the chat you had was a waste of time – don’t let that dishearten you. This time, you need to use assertive language to get the message across loud and clear, while maintaining your professional dignity.
Don’t confront your colleague when you are feeling upset, or you know you are about to explode, because you may end up looking weak or aggressive, which won’t help.
If you need support, and ask to speak with your boss and explain your concerns and frustrations, and ask that they have a quiet word with your colleague. Your line manager has a duty to make sure their team is working well together, so this should start to make a change. If it doesn’t, then you can consider taking a more formal approach, by raising a grievance if you feel that you are being bullied, for example.
