How often do you feel stressed by a situation at work? Such as having to ask to leave early for a parents? meeting, or time-off if your child is ill?

Many mothers find this very stressful – even if their boss is a woman in the same position. In fact that can make it worse. Many Mums say: “My boss implies that if she can cope and not take time off for child care, then I should find ways round it as well. I always feel very guilty.”

So how can you make this situation less stressful?

• First, it is a good idea to pre-empt the situation. Arrange a time to talk to your boss about the ‘what ifs’. If you take the initiative and ask for a meeting, it looks as if you care- rather than just assuming it will be okay to leave early or come in late one morning. In other words, what would they prefer if you had to take time out for your children? They might prefer a phone call at home as soon as you know there is a problem.

• Try to reach a compromise. Can you work from home, or work flexi-hours to make up for lost time?
• If you know the dates of any after-school meetings that you need to go to, discuss these with your boss well in advance- don?t spring it on them a day or so beforehand.
• Always emphasise to your boss that you are taking this time off as a very last resort- rather than something you do very casually.
• Be up-front when applying for a job. If you are solely responsible for your children, do you need to be realistic about how child-care is going to fit into the work?
• What feedback do you get from prospective employers? If they are not a family-friendly company, would you be better-off cutting your losses and looking elsewhere?

• Don’t undersell yourself. There are companies out there who will value you, even if you do have to fit being a Mum into your work at times. If you really are struggling with your boss, move-on. Be confident about what you can offer.
• Career options- think outside the box. If you have always fancied going-it-alone and working for yourself, explore the options. You might well be able to do something that gives you more freedom whilst your children are young.

By life coach Glynis Kozma of www.aspire-coaching.co.uk