Last week there was much in the media about how selfish working mums are. Our very own editor, Joycellyn Akuffo, even went on BBC1’s The Big Questions programme to defend working mums.
But the finger of blame as to the welfare and happiness of children in this country has been firmly pointed at their parents in the Children’s Society report, which started the discussion. The report cited the increasing number of mums who work and family breakdowns as reasons why today?s children are under more stress than previous generations.
Parenting expert and author, Sue Atkins, says that blame such as this is not helpful and a positive approach is what will reap rewards in the long
term. ?Rather than laying blame, this report shows us that it is time to offer parents an open hand to help make learning new parenting skills,
strategies and techniques less of a taboo.?
The children surveyed for the report said that they wanted to be shown respect, have clear rules and have families that are always there for them.? ?Whoever you are and whatever your circumstances or background,? says Sue Atkins, ?parents should ask themselves better and more empowering questions and to think if their actions or remarks will bring them closer to or further away from their child long term.
?Kids don?t come with a handbook and being the best parent you can be is about making small changes that over time make a big difference.? Changes happen quickly but habits take a little longer.?
If you feel you could help improve things a home but don’t know where to start, Sue suggests some questions to ask yourself and points to ponder:
- How can I nurture, cherish and love my children so they feel loved?
- Are my children my top priority?? If they aren?t, how can I make them my top priority?? What small changes can I make this week to do this immediately?
- Am I creating the kind of family I am proud of?
- How can I listen to my kids more, teach them, guide them and set them firm, fair and consistent boundaries?
- How can I be their parent, not their friend, and show them tough love by passing on my values and rules with firm kindness and confidence?
- How can I improve the way I listen to my kids, play with them, talk to them, show them respect?
- How can I be kinder to them?
- What makes a great parent?? Write down all the things a great parent is, says and makes you feel.
- How can I improve and feel more confident in my parenting?
- How can I get more balance in my life?
?This Children?s Society report can encourage us to look at ourselves and help us make small changes that don?t overwhelm ? to fine tune our
parenting,” says Sue.
“It is important to remember that today?s children are tomorrow?s future and our actions will help raise happy, confident and
well-balanced children,? says Sue Atkins of Positive Parents Confident Kids.
