Most people find that they can’t say no to someone asking them for something because they are so worried about upsetting them, or they lack the courage to turn down the request.

People often dislike disagreeing, or believe saying yes is easier than saying no. Others, just can’t say no.

However, there are often instances where it is best to say no to a request, so if you fit into any of the above descriptions, here is a quick lesson in the art of saying no.

Learn how to say no

Adopt simple strategies to say no, politely but firmly. You don’t need to make up stories in order to refuse – lies eventually catch up with you, and you end up wondering if the person you told it to believed you, or just feeling bad for not saying no. You don’t need to give lame excuses, either, you can say no without being dishonest.

How to say no

Here are some examples of how you can say no:

• No

• I can’t accept this, with my present commitments. I’m sorry.

• I’m rather quite busy now. I must decline.

• I don’t think I have the time for it, as I am in the middle of something important.

• After looking at my calendar, I found that I already have prior commitments.

• No. I would only be able to do a mediocre job right now.

• No. I don’t have any spare time right now.

• Not this time, please give me more notice next time and I’ll work it into my schedule.

• I can’t.

• Why don’t you try someone else? I’m not the right person for this.

There are a hundred other ways of saying no without feeling uneasy or hurting others by being blunt or even rude.

If you aren’t sure, you can always ask for time to make the decision without feeling guilty. You may say you will have to think about it.

If somebody persists with the request when you want to say no, you may have to be assertive and firmly decline. You don’t need to risk over committing yourself by saying yes when you actually want to say no.

How to say no to your boss at work

If you feel unable to say no to your boss at work, who demand much more work than you can reasonably manage to do within a specified time, you’ll end up either not doing the job at all or doing it poorly.

In either case, you will be putting your professional reputation on the line and start to be seen by others as incompetant. If you can show your boss the reasons for not being able to accept the extra responsibility, it’s much better than taking on too much work and not being able to deliver anything to a decent standard.

You can perhaps make a list of all the projects that you are already working on.

If saying no doesn’t work, you could always ask that your boss prioritises the work in the order that they want it delivered, and agree an acceptable deadline for each.

That way you don’t feel the pressure of having a never-ending to-do list, and your boss won’t feel as though you are refusing to do work that you should be doing.

Undoubtedly, learning to say no is a must-have skill for everyone. Say no at the right time and it can help you to gain respect with your peers and help avoid bitterness from those to have to hear it – and within yourself.