Striking the balance between guilt-free working and balancing family life is more than just about managing time. Striking the right balance is not just about managing time; it’s about managing energy and expectations too.
As Annabel Crabb in her book “The Wife Drought” says, “The obligation for working mothers is a very precise one: the feeling that one ought to work as if one did not have children, while raising one’s children as if one did not have a job.”
To navigate this, here are five proven strategies that can help.
1. Establish Clear Boundaries
The first step towards achieving balance is setting clear boundaries. This means defining work hours, family time, and personal time. For instance, when you’re at work, focus on work, and when you’re at home, be present with your family.
Sheryl Sandberg, in her book “Lean In,” stresses the importance of “not taking a call from work during dinner,” as a way to set boundaries. It’s essential to communicate these boundaries to your employer, colleagues, and family.
2. Prioritise Quality Family Time
Balancing work and family doesn’t mean equal time; it means quality time. Author and speaker Laura Vanderkam, in her book “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think,” suggests that parents can build quality time with their children into their weeks. This could be as simple as reading a bedtime story every night or having a dedicated family day at the weekend. Quality over quantity can make a significant difference in family relationships.
3. Embrace Flexibility
In today’s world, flexibility is key. This might mean flexible working hours or the option to work from home. According to a study by Timewise, 87% of UK employees either already work flexibly or wish they could. Speak with your employer about flexible working arrangements that would help you balance your responsibilities more effectively.
4. Delegate and Share Responsibilities
Delegation at work and sharing responsibilities at home can greatly ease the burden. This means letting go of the need to do everything yourself. Mums can often fall into the trap of ‘maternal gatekeeping’ where they inadvertently assume sole responsibility for family and household tasks. Sharing these tasks with your partner or older children not only eases your load but also fosters a sense of teamwork within the family.
5. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
Finally, self-care is essential. Arianna Huffington, in her book “Thrive,” emphasises the importance of well-being, advocating for a revolution in our sleep, meditation, and ability to disconnect from technology. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or simply a quiet cup of tea, taking time for yourself helps to recharge your batteries, making you more effective both at work and at home.
For working mums, achieving a work-life balance is an ongoing process that requires patience, communication, and flexibility. By setting clear boundaries, prioritising quality family time, embracing flexibility, delegating responsibilities, and prioritising self-care, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, it’s about making the most of the time you have and ensuring that both your family and your work get the best, not what’s left, of you.
